Eat. Pray. Love.

Birthdays. Aren't they weird?

The day I turned a year older, I embraced it with my wide open arms and held it so close. It didn't make me feel any different, as they say age is just a number after all! I loved my day, yes I call it my day. I loved the sunset, the loved the weather, I welcomed spring. I believe the day was just for me. I know I'm self obsessed if you are thinking the same. I loved even the getting older part that day, as I bossed around my friends.

But then, a day later it hit me. I am older, I am getting older and getting nowhere close to what I really want to do with my life. 

What if I don't even know what I'm supposed to do this year? 

The rest was history! A stream of thoughts and 'what ifs' had clouded and my mind and I was homesick.

I didn't know what I was working so hard for, why I was away from my parents, I envied my friends who basking in the comforts of their home. I wanted to leave everything, and run away. 

But not even to my own home, I needed a change. No I still need to change, I hate any kind of monotony in life. Well, I'm an Arian, and you wouldn't find another person so true to their star signs than me. I am moody, I don't like things slow, I get bored too easy, I'm never tired, I am short tempered and I cool down just as soon. I wanted to do nothing for the weekend, so the Saturday night I decided to do what I love doing the best, Netflix and chill.

And randomly, I started playing 'Eat. Pray. Love.'  Maybe because I love to watch Julia Roberts smile, its something that makes you smile. And that's exactly the self reflection I needed. I have come come a long way from where I was. I was doing better than Liz in the movie (well except the part that she had a lot of time to travel, and I don't! But that's on my list too.) 

I have invested my time in myself and I've learnt to protect my own space. I've set my boundaries so high, that everyone has to respect me the same way I respect myself. I am unfazed by the choices I make. I am lucky to have never been told my parents to be the person I should be. Yet, they're proud of the way I've turned to be. I think that's the one thing that puts me to sleep peacefully every night. 

Just knowing that. 

I've learnt to surrender, and to trust the universe, even as I wade through the thick waters of uncertainty and anxiety! I know for sure, that I know all that I'm supposed to know for now. 

Time reveals itself only when the moment is right. And what matters the most to you, will never be taken away. 

Someday, I know I will eat pasta in Rome, go for weekend football matches in Barcelona to watch my hero play, shop in the fashion street of London and eat the best cheesecakes in Paris. 

As of now, 'I'm in a happy relationship with my pizza!'

After all, when you want something with your whole heart, the universe conspires to hand it over to you.

That's the only thing I believe in.

So cheers to getting older, and still discovering yourself!

Until the next,

Nikita =)